“Mommy, will you sign me up for karate lessons?” your child asks.
Your answer: “But you said yesterday that you wanted art lessons. And then last week you wanted to learn horseback riding. And last month you begged me to put you on the soccer team. I can’t figure out what you really want to do.”
“I want to do ALL of these things!”
“But you can’t get good at any one thing if you do too many things,” you say.
“But how do I know if I’m good at something if you don’t let me try?” your child asks.
Is this a common scenario for you? Is your child interested in too many things? And seems to try really hard and/or IS actually be pretty good at all of them, or wants to enroll because his or her best friend(s) are doing this or that activity? Do you worry about lack of focus, or perhaps your bank account running dry?
Or what about this scenario:
“Have you done your homework yet?” you ask.
“No, I started it, but I had to look something up on wikipedia and then started reading about something else,” your child answers.
You look at his/her homework and see that it’s not even halfway done, and it’s almost dinner time. You feel your blood pressure rising and wonder if your child can complete something. The teacher mentioned this problem at the last parent-teacher conference, stating something like, “Your child is a blessing to have in the class, he/she is so nice to everyone and everyone loves him/her, but won’t stay on task. Classwork is never complete, and homework appears to be rushed through.”
EARTH children love being around people and take a special interest in seeing others happy. The flip side is they often don’t see what THEY need to do to succeed at something.
Both scenarios are common for EARTH children. They take such in interest in PEOPLE, that they naturally are interested in a variety of subjects and activities. They are pleasant and well-liked, so harsh disciplinary practices don’t seem appropriate to you.
Good news! Your gut instincts are correct — there is no need to be harsh, but there IS a need to intervene, and using the 5 elements is the perfect way to do this.
The 2 most commonly used cycles in 5-element theory are the nourishing cycle and the control, or regulating, cycle. The regulating cycle, which will help with your EARTH child’s lack of focus, is depicted here:
WOOD controls EARTH
FIRE controls METAL
EARTH controls WATER
METAL controls WOOD
WATER controls FIRE
EARTH children love being around people and take a special interest in seeing others happy. The flip side is they often don’t see what THEY need to do to succeed at something. Their downfall is that it’s sometimes difficult for them to make decisions and follow an action through to completion. You may curb their EARTH nature by regulating it with WOOD activity. This will structure your child’s life, so long as you don’t overdo it and strip away all the fun.
In this case, WOOD activities should consist of goal-setting, accompanied by written agreements. It doesn’t have to be super-serious — in fact, you can make it fun.
Have your child keep a journal with goals. For example:
Goal #1 – Stick with karate until I can pass my orange belt (third level) exam. Then re-evaluate if karate is still something I want to keep studying.
Goal #2 – Stick with the soccer team throughout the whole season, and be aggressive enough to get out there and score a goal.
Written agreement example (child can turn it into an art project and both of you will sign it):
“I will complete my homework assignment in 30-60 minutes, or else I will have to wash all the dishes after dinner. If I need help, I will ask for help immediately, rather than waiting until the end of the 60 minutes and starting to panic.”
This written activity will inspire your EARTH child to focus and achieve, and help hold himself to his or her goals — a worthwhile skill he/she will use for life.
Do you think you have an EARTH child? Or maybe you’re not sure? For a one-page reference guide for determining 5 element type, or a guide for raising the earth child, please contact us.
