Each of the 5 elements is associated with a season, and the season of FIRE is summer. The summer months represent joy, fun, and outdoor activities, but it also means that emotions can run high. Even if you don’t have a FIRE child, you could wake up and find your little one waging a battle against you this time of year.
What do you do if your child refuses to get dressed, eat breakfast, go to camp/school, or any other normal activities of the day? What if he or she rants on and on? How do you react?
If your child exhibits these fiery behaviors, imagine what you would do if you were outside and needed to put out a small fire. Would you light a fire right next to it? Probably not — you would probably throw a bucket of water on it. But if you react instinctively by screaming back at your child, that is precisely what you are doing — starting another fire that will simply add to the existing one, making it spread and become more dangerous.
The 5 elements interact primarily in two ways: the nourishing cycle and the control cycle. In the control cycle, WATER controls FIRE.
Now imagine what a WATER parent might do. Adults who are WATER types are slow to react, and turn inward to figure out a solution. They stop and ask themselves, “Why is my child so unhappy today? What can I do to harness this fiery energy into a productive activity?”
Even my little WATER child has fits of rage from time to time. The other day he screamed and threw his Legos across the room when he tried to correct his mistake in assembling a Lego Jeep, and too much of the Jeep fell apart. He was frustrated in having to start all over in building the Jeep, and he had spent so much time trying to follow the assembly diagram. I reminded him that when I was his age, I couldn’t put together a complicated Lego Jeep like that, and so he was WAY ahead of me. I made the first move in putting the Jeep back together, and let him do the rest. That made him feel more relaxed, and he went back to his assembly.
“Your child needs to see that your day will still go on as normal, and that his or her mood swings do NOT dictate the planetary orbits.”
But what if it’s like the example mentioned earlier, where your child won’t do the normal daily routine? What do you do? Resort to threats and bribes? [Confession time: I have always wanted to start a parenting blog called “threatsandbribes.com” — but that’s another story.]
Chances are, the usual threats and bribes may not work if your child is in a FIRE mood. You still need to act like WATER. Think “soothing, cooling, taking on the shape of the vessel” and say something supportive about his/her frustration, so your child knows you’re on his/her side. Then, in a gentle way, remind him or her that this isn’t normal or acceptable behavior, and that if something is bothering him, he can ALWAYS come to you…Mommy or Daddy…the child’s lifelong anchor. If he or she doesn’t calm down, leave the room. Don’t say another word. Do the laundry, cleaning, dishes, work on your laptop — whatever you need to do. Your child needs to see that your day will still go on as normal, and that his or her mood swings do NOT dictate the planetary orbits.
Do you think you have a FIRE child? Comment below, feel free to sound off…or to brag! FIRE children can be charming, sensitive, and entertaining! Many have special performing talents! For a one-page reference guide for raising a fire child, please contact us.
