Don’t you hate it when someone says you’ll get pregnant when you “relax and stop trying?” So annoying, right?
When you’re TTC, it dominates your thinking. You wonder if you’ll ever be a mom, and if you’ll be “old” by the time it happens. You think of all the baby stuff you’re missing out on now, while you watch your friends and family with their babies and kids. It’s maddening, I remember.
You obsess about something that seems to be out of your control. You had expected to be expecting by now, right? Feeling let down and frustrated leads to poor mental health, and unfortunately, that lowers your chances of getting pregnant and carrying to term. For the study that shows this, see my blog post on anxiety, depression, and fertility here.
Instead of focusing on all of that, try obsessing about something else — how about yourself? What’s going on in your career, hobbies, or exercise routine? Is there another degree you’ve been thinking of getting, but were waiting to see if you got pregnant first? Having you been wanting to sign up for a rigorous fitness class, but were worried that you might get pregnant or have to skip the class during the implantation phase every month? Always wanted to learn to play a new instrument or sport, but then didn’t try it because you thought a pregnancy would derail your practice time?
When I conceived my son, it was September of that year, and I had been in a state of transition a few months prior. My husband had changed jobs, so we had been living with his parents for a few months since the job change had required us to move states. I was obsessed with getting random blood work to check my thyroid and everything else I could check on the requisition form. I was convinced that if I could just find that ONE supplement my body needed, I could get pregnant. I thought it would be easy if I could just become a better fertility detective.
It turned out not to be just ONE supplement that worked, it was a detox diet program, but I’ll get into that in another blog post.
But the thing I want to point out is this: when we moved in with his parents, my mother-in-law pushed me to join her gym, and I started working out 5 days/week and started a yoga class there. I also was job-hunting, and ended up finding a great job that started that October. All of that exercise made my blood flow better, which meant it was easier for my body to form an embryo. All of that effort into finding a job was a good distraction from my obsession with TTC.
When you focus on yourself, your brain stops thinking you’re in a fight-or-flight mode (I have to conceive or else my life is over!!), and puts you in fertile mode because you’re ready to relax and grow a baby inside your womb.
When “stop trying” is bad advice is if you and your partner do not normally have intimate time at least 2-3 times/week, whether due to low libido or frequent work travel. In that case, you do need to “keep trying” and schedule your private time so that a conception is biologically possible.
Are your hobbies, career, and exercise routine all perfect and you have no idea what to try next? Sometimes we have mental blocks that are deep in our subconscious mind, and we can’t identify it ourselves. I may be able to pinpoint it quickly for you. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation here to see if this may be the key to unlock your fertility!