To watch the video of this interview, click here
For our readers who are new to the 5 element personality types, there are 5 types: wood, fire, earth, metal, and water. The EARTH type is in the middle of the spectrum in terms of introvert vs. extravert. The WOOD type is the fastest, most extraverted, and most confident. The WATER type is the slowest, most introverted, and potentially the least confident — although their confidence may be boosted by the right type of parenting.
The EARTH types of the world are our caregivers, our friends-of-all, our peacemakers — the ones who are always looking out for the welfare of others. They tend to participate in many varied sports and activities of their many friends, and they are ambiverts — so they are like introverts who can be the life of the party.
In Zoe Sizemore’s family, Zoe is wood, her husband is metal, her daughter is fire, and her son is a combination of earth and water — the “mud” type, if you will.
LS: What is your biggest struggle in raising your kids, especially with their being such different personality types?
Zoe: It seems like one minute they are playing nicely, seemingly for a long time, and then suddenly it all falls apart in a very dramatic way. I love how they are learning to get along with different people this way, but it gets too chaotic sometimes.
LS: This is a common problem for siblings with opposite personality types. Your daughter is a fire type, and fire types need to be the center of attention, and need that spotlight to be happy. They love to talk and make others stare and laugh. The earth and water types don’t need attention like that, but water types in particular need space and time alone.
Their gifts and challenges are so different, that you want to avoid any chance that they compare each other. Comparison will lead only to frustration and disappointment.
Zoe: Yes, that sounds right. My son doesn’t understand how sensitive his sister is, and his sister doesn’t understand that her brother needs some peace and quiet time to himself sometimes.
LS: When kids have opposing personality types, they need to be doing separate activities, even if they play in parallel. Their gifts and challenges are so different, that you want to avoid any chance that they compare each other. Comparison will lead only to frustration and disappointment.
Zoe: That makes sense. My son likes his puzzles and Legos, and my daughter can be doing a larger-piece puzzle instead of trying to help him with his puzzle. That way she won’t bother him, but she can still be near him, which is what she wants.
LS: Yes, the fire types need a lot of human contact, they are very outgoing, unlike the water types. You also need to explain this concept to them. They understand the concepts of fire and water, so it’s not as hard as it may sound. Tell your daughter that her gift to the family (and to the world) is her charming and entertaining personality. She makes friends everywhere she goes, and loves to make people laugh. Your son’s gifts are that he thinks of others and he can concentrate on one activity for a long period of time. That concentration ability is a true gift that few kids and adults have. Just be sure to tell them these things often, so that they are self-aware, and don’t try to change their true nature. This acceptance leads to confidence and success later in life.
Zoe: That sounds like a good plan to me! To raise them both to have confidence instead of trying to be like each other and trying to compete.
LS: Yes, you hit the nail on the head. Keep the kids in separate activities so they can both excel and not compete with each other. That will lead to a better relationship as adults as well.
LS: Zoe, do you feel that being a wood type helps you in your career, but it gets challenging as a mom?
Zoe: Yes, it’s helped me to be ambitious and goal-oriented in my work, but raising kids is a challenge for me. Kids sometimes don’t let you check things off of your to-do list – LOL. Plus they are not able to do things as quickly as I would prefer, just because of their age and personality.
LS: Yes, that’s a challenge for sure! Kids don’t know what a to-do list is, and they certainly have their own agenda to follow anyway, in their own time. It’s awesome that you realize that. In your business, what do you focus on?
Zoe: I’m a graphic designer, so my specialty is branding and web design.
LS: Excellent! For those of you who need a graphic designer, here’s Zoe Sizemore’s URL:
What 5 element type are you and your kids? For a one-page guide to determining 5 element type, please contact us.
